Darn Elves

As I was scrubbing my toilet today, I was thinking of all the fairy tales where the heroine was assisted in her chores by a myriad of elves, fairies, birds and small woodland creatures. Where are all these creatures when I need them? I feed the local bird and squirrel populace and they are just slacking off in the housework department. (I will admit that much of the squirrels' time is taken up with racing around the tree trunks followed by rather energetic baby squirrel making. Stop humping and start cleaning Damn it!) I did notice one thing about all these heroines (besides the fact that most are cartoons): every single one of them has tiny feet. I am not sure how these women can walk, let alone dance and sing with the forest folk. Perhaps the fact that I have size 10 1/2 feet is the reason I get no help. They must think I will step on them and make an even bigger mess to clean up.

Thanks for the great genes Grandma!